Thoughts on the 151 km, 762-curve strong, uphill motorbike ride from Chiang Mai to Pai

In no particular order, with no particular importance.

  • The bloggers that have done this have written things like, “only expert bikers should attempt this journey” and, “under no circumstances should you attempt this ride.”  But I learned how to ride a motorbike yesterday, so that doesn’t apply to me, right?
  • Traffic in Chiang Mai is awful
  • Traffic is awful
  • Other vehicles are awful
  • They drive on the left here.  Does that mean the far left is the slow lane?  Is that where I should go?  How fast can I go?  Where should I be?  IF YOU WOULD ALL STOP HONKING I COULD FIGURE SOME THINGS OUT NOW.

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  • Good thing I have this bandanna around my face because that will surely prevent the black gunk from the truck in front of me from getting in my lungs
  • Should I get gas here?  No, I’ll wait
  • Is this a superhighway?  Am I on a Thai superhighway?  
  • What does that police officer want?  Why is he making me stop driving?  What is an International Driver’s Permit?  Oh, if I just pay the fine here you’ll let me go?  NOW JUST WAIT A MINute ok just take my money
  • I am incredulous that that police officer made me follow the law whilst lining his own pockets
  • Oh hey the road is clearing up
  • Whoa hey!  It’s getting a little bendy!
  • Whoa HEY now, that was a great lean into that curve!  I am an expert motorbiker!
  • Whoa hey this is incredible
  • This town smells like SWEET MINT!  The WHOLE TOWN smells like SWEET MINT!
  • Now it’s definitely bendy
  • Now it’s definitely uphill!

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  • Now it’s bendy and uphill at the same time!
  • It’s nice that there isn’t too much traffic
  • It’s hot.
  • Those clouds up ahead mean that it will cool down!
  • Those clouds up ahead mean that it’s going to rain
  • NOW IT IS RAINING a bit
  • The truck that is filled with pigs just passed me
  • 762 turns, eh?  That’s a lot of turns.
  • It’s nice that that car that almost hit me was an ambulance.  That would be real convenient.
  • What a vista!  What a view!
  • Oh this must be that real squiggly part
  • Oh now we’re going to try downhill and bendy

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  • I sure wish my brakes were better
  • Oh back uphill now!  I’m going to need each one of these 125 ccs!
  • I should have packed less stuff
  • Whoa hey this is incredible!
  • What’s that police checkpoint up ahead?  Again?  Hello!  Hi!  Hello!  Go right through?  Don’t mind if I do.
  • Back uphill!  Back downhill!  Real squiggly!  Real slowREALFASTreal slow!
  • Hey some stuff!  We are close!
  • This way?  No that way.  This way?  Let’s try that way.
  • Look at that countryside!  Look at those fields!
  • Look at that sign!  That’s it!  We made it!  We survived!
  • We are expert bikers!
  • Whoa hey that was incredible!

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